...an unwanted dream...

Wanting to wake up from the dream...
That day the dream came forth with the falling snow and cherry tree blossoms.The dream that belongs to me.Even though I know that it is a dream that should not be dreamt of...but I...
I know I should not do this,I should not desire this...but the lonliness makes me do things that will hurt everybody...Even though they will suffer,I would live happily?Is it bad to desire something for your good?If you suffered in the past for the sake of someone else,is it bad to do something for your sake?
I want to think that nothing will happen,I want to,but I can't...I know that is unfair...but I still...